Post-tacular.

Because a regular post sounds lame.


<---- [What's that there with ten pretty little stars?-
         -Why that's a Killionaire. Don't have one?-
          - Guess it's time you tried harder. ;) ]

P.A.X. (Penny Arcade Expo) is in full swing and the convention Engine is roaring with all 12 cylinders firing.

Big name developers, comic artists, high quality action figures, toys, memorabilia and enough shiny objects to make every susceptible nerd break down into a seizure of pure nerdy bliss, to which they wake up to the sweet smell of Mountain Dew and Skittles and looking into the reflective faceplate of some dude who dressed up like Darth Vader. (Someone out there just realized they had a life long dream and rushed off to fulfill it at P.A.X.)

Any and all would-be attendees that didn't pre-purchase passes are officially out of luck as the convention is completely sold out. That's no big deal though, most of us didn't get  to go this year. It may not be front row, and you may not get to hear about it first but in the world of the interweb and well paid reporters, web loggers and magazines columnist  have got your back. Either the good ol'boys at 1up, Joysiq, IGN, Game Informer and a dozen other names are there writing it up as it comes out so you can read it and satisfy your "Gamepire" needs by sucking the Sweat & Sourie digital goodness.

Now some of you who made it to P.A.X. are sitting down right now and playing through full levels in the HALO: Reach campaign and are the envy of any big HALO fan around the world.
"It's Amazing, You should have been there!" [I know that's what your saying, just rubbing it in. Next you'll be telling me how sweet this level was, or how awesome that gun was. Well keep it up and I'll be asking how my boot tastes coming from the other end; and no we can't still be friends]


I think it's time I make due on the whole "Short Story" business I mentioned earlier. So below you'll find exactly what you're in for.

 <--------[This next part is so TOP SECRET that even I don't know-
                - what's next and I wrote it!]


Dossier of Colonel Awesome

Name: William C. Allan

Rank: Colonel

D.O.B.: November 1st 1924

Enlisted: May 13th 1941

Height: 6 foot. (2m)

Wight: 180

Hair Color: Dark Brown

Eye Color: Hazel

Blood Type: O –

IQ: 200

Awards: Medal of Honor, Purple Heart, World War II Victory Medal, Distinguished Service Cross, Navy Cross, Silver Star,
Distinguished Flying Cross, Bronze Star, Prisoner of War Medal,
American Campaign, European-African-Middle Eastern Campaign Medal, Asiatic-Pacific Campaign Medal
(Special Comment) Mr. July of Navy Calendar

Comments – “Best damn pilot to every fly”
       “Hero”
       “Invincible”
       “Awesome”
       “Unstoppable”
                     “William C. Allan’s name was used in
                       Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary under ‘Badass.’”

Actions of note:

Boarded a German Panzer and took command before destroying two neighboring Panzer.

Shot and killed a German pilot with his M1911 sidearm in mid flight.

Snuck a Thompson M1A1 aboard his aircraft and proceeded to shoot down six opponent’s mid-flight when he exhausted his Mustang’s ammunition.

When out of ammunition, inverted his plan and flew over a Zero. He used his spent sidearm to smash the canopy and drop in a grenade in before the pilot could escape.

Shot open the canopy of a Zero with his sidearm. Later during the skirmish he spotted the Zero he’d hit. Out of ammunition he flipped his Mustang and hung from his canopy. When he was close enough to the canopy he smashed through the glass and knocked out the pilot with this foot. The Zero spun off and crashed into the ocean.

Fist hand accounts\

 – Lieutenant Winters. “I saw him hook out from a pillar of smoke. He flew that Mustang like a Bat-out-of-hell. He then dove from the plane and it crashed into a Panzer that had our flank. When he hit the ground he unhooked his parachute before gunning down a nearby Kraut. Immediately he policed an Mp41. He proceeded to empty a clip into several riflemen across from him and board a second Panzer. He shot the locks and dropped into the tank and killed its driver and gunner. Now that he commanded the Panzer he turned it on the other two Panzer remaining and destroyed them. At that point we turned the tide and gave him covering fire. When the fight was over he personally checked in with me before reporting back to the field base for his orders.”







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Stay tuned, and keep checking back for more excerpts into the crazy, heroic, over the top life of W.C. Allen as he fights for his life, his friends, and his country. I'm sure many more are to come.

-Fox